1. When it’s my turn to pick the restaurant, I pick one with a name like, “The Silly Goose,” because I want to try their couscous and shrimp. Only, I don’t check to see how far away it is, or if it is even open, which leads to events like a cross-town drive to a closed restaurant. And then my second choice is a little vegetarian joint in the same building called, “The Wild Cow,” and only when that is firmly vetoed do I settle for the much-more-normal Mexican option across the street.
2. Over dinner, I ask questions that need lots of prefacing, such as, “Pretend you have no presuppositions about either religion or science. Wipe away all the things you believe. Now look around this restaurant at all the people and clothes and behavior and answer this: Would you say, based totally on present observation, that this species evolved accidentally or that they were created by a higher power?” This is my idea of a conversation starter.
And like a good date, I stay off my recently-updated iPhone…until the very end of dinner, when I can’t resist playing the new game I got for the kids, Math BINGO. After I inexplicably miss 7 X 1 twice (it’s not 8, Kim), I decide it will be fun to challenge my date with this rousing game. As we exit the restaurant, I set it on the hardest setting and pepper him with incisive questions like, “What’s 15 X 19?” on the way to the car. Since I have to plug his answers into the Bingo board, he gets several steps ahead of me (although, thinking back on it now, it’s possible that he actually might have been fleeing me), which causes me to have to call out the questions a bit louder. It is only after I yell, “136 divided by 17!” followed by a triumphant, “BINGO!” that I look up to see everyone in Hipsterville staring at me through their thick, horn-rimmed glasses. Oops. I just smile and shrug, like, “What?? Doesn’t everyone play Math BINGO in their spare time?” before laughing all the way to the car.
3. As much as I do appreciate the standard dinner-and-a-movie, movies today are too expensive (not to mention that most of them are not worth seeing. Did you know that there is currently one out on Redbox called, The Evil Bong? Not joking). I’m not even a movie snob (the last three movies I saw in theaters were The Hunger Games, Sherlock Holmes, and Mission Impossible 4) but the combined price and stupidity of most movies make them a no-go for date nights. For me, the next best thing is a bookstore. Barnes and Noble is our basic stand-by, but tonight, my date opts to try out a huge used bookstore we’d heard about, and I’m all for it. I spend most of my time perusing the children’s books and Christianity books, coming away with a few things for the kids’ Easter baskets.
So yeah, if vegetarian restaurants, Math BINGO, and used bookstores are your thing, I would make one awesome date. For the other 99.9% of the population who are sighing in relief right now that you and I will never have to go on a date, I wish you all the happiness in your own dates with your significant other. As for me and mine, we spent the drive home from the used bookstore singing Mumford and Sons songs with the windows rolled down and admiring all the greenery in Nashville. At one point, I caught my date looking at me, and so I turned and smiled at him, and he told me I was pretty and declared that he “married up.”
And I realized that I am a great date…to the person who matters.
So, um, where do
normal people you like to go on dates?